We’ve Lost the Men

Rules-to-Always-Being-a-Gentleman2As I have grown older and (in my eyes at least) matured a little over the past few months and years i’ve noticed things change.  At the minute, courtship, marriage and manhood has been engrained in my mind.  They intrigue me greatly!  I feel I need to know about these things as I grow older in age and greater in maturity.  I’ve noticed many preachers tell us that we have lost Biblical manhood, we have lost chivalry, we have lost the gentlemen.

So I felt I should stick my thoughts down and maybe, just maybe it will benefit you men as we face 2015 and the challenges it may hold.  What follows are my thoughts on what I should aspire to be and am working towards in my own life.  Here are a few things we guys can do our lady friends  to gain back the ground that we have lost relating being a man/gentleman.

1.  Be a Boaz

This is one Biblical character I, until lately, seriously overlooked.  There is so much to learn from this man. There are so many great characteristics which this man possesses that all men should.  At this juncture I would like to point out one in particular, he was a provider.  This doesn’t mean if he lived today he would have a Ferrari and a six figure bank account, no!  He has a great work ethic, willing to work and willing to provide for the woman in his life.  This one is more applicable to any gentleman friend who has find his Ruth to his Boaz.

This time, read the book guys, it will benefit you greatly!

2.  Open the door for her, but once inside open your Bible

Chivalry is to a great extent lost.  One great way of gaining it back is open the door for the lady.  But don’t make a double standard about it.  If you are attracted to a girl open the door for her, but do it too if you have no attraction to her at all.  Its not hard to keep a door open for a lady!

(This bit is for the guy who has found his Ruth).  Once you have opened the door to her, open your Bible and study the Word with her.  Hopefully the relationship is geared towards marriage and when this happens, you my friend are Spiritually in charge of that house, that includes wife as well as potential kids.  Just as Christ is our Prophet, Priest, Provider and Protector and as men it is our job to fulfil these roles in the home as we have been given the responsibility of being head of the home.  Not to be taken lightly at all!  Spiritually encourage her, learn with her and be her Prophet.

3.  She MUST be protected at all costs

This one is not to be taken lightly.  We must protect our lady friends, not because they necessarily need to be protected, but because it is for the man to protect the woman.  Protect her physically, protect her purity, protect her spiritually.  Put your neck out for women, its your role!

4.  Walk closest to the street

This one came from a time where streets were a lot dirtier.  The man walked here to protect his female friend from dust and water that could splash up on her clothes.  Now we have better sewage systems and less dirt to splash up but the principal still stands.  Walk closest to the street so you are the one gets drenched if a speeding car goes past in the rain, not her.

I have a good female friend, and this one annoys her but she now accepts its going to happen, walk closest to the street guys, its a great tradition of gentlemen.

5.  Make sure she is seated comfortably

When you are being seated, don’t sit down before her, take the time to pull out her chair and make sure she is seated comfortably.

6.  Help her with her coat

When she is preparing to leave, give her some help with her coat, or at least ask if she would like help.  I am sure she is capable of putting on a coat alone but its a nice gesture, to show you care and to show her you truly are a man, willing to go an extra step.

7.  Carry her stuff

She will get tired carrying stuff around than you, don’t let her suffer in silence with those heavy bags, give her some help, be willing to show you care.  Go out of your way to be nice to a lady.

8.  Listen to her

She will want to talk every so often, she will need to pour her heart out.  She may tell you secrets.  Don’t break that special trust she has put in you.  Be the man that can be trusted, be the man that she can come to when she has a problem and she knows you will be there.  You will listen and try your utmost to help when applicable.  Put yourself out there and do your best to be there for her.  If she needs an ear to her her give her yours.  Be there for her when she needs some one to be there.

9.  Don’t even CONSIDER hitting her or hurting any woman

Enough said!

10.  Ask and it shall be given unto you (hopefully)

This is for the guy considering marriage.  Go and ask her father for her hand in marriage.   Its something I’ve thought about and lately a friend of mine just went and did that, I have not yet experienced it but i’m fairly confident it would be a “heart in your throat” kind of moment.  Think of it like this, you are going to ask this man to give you his daughter (“Who gives this woman” at the wedding ceremony) but you aren’t going to ask him about it first?  Though, if nothing else it is a nice gesture, and probably very helpful to have her family on-board.


As Rudyard Kipling said in his famous poem IF – “you’ll be a Man, my son!”, well at least its a start.  Guys, lets strive to be men, treat her as she deserves to be treated and in fact, treat every woman as she is to be treated.  Above were ten little points which can be added to our lives for the better, to help us become better men and become more of the gentlemen we ought to be.

If you are still reading, well done for keeping up with my ramblings but I hope it helps and I hope that this is something relevant and applicable to all the men out there!



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